Tuesday 12 November 2019

How I survived career failure and learned to love teaching again. Part One: The Anatomy of a Career Failure

Post by Kristian Shanks @HistoryKss

A version of this blog was presented at New Voices 2019

In April 2015, things could not have been better in my teaching career.  I’d spent five wonderful years at an outstanding secondary school in West Yorkshire, been part of a fantastic History department that consistently gained superb results, I’d been acting up on SLT there for the previous year, and had just gained an Assistant Head’s position at a nearby school as Head of Sixth Form, a job I’d wanted to do pretty much since entering teaching.  To boot, I’d just got married and was soon to find out my wife was pregnant with our first child together.

By May 2016 I’d resigned from that position without a job to go to (a case of jumping before being pushed) and had gone back down to being a main-scale teacher – I’d been badly burned and it felt like I was being relegated back to square one.  To compound matters, I’d bounced round the interview circuit looking for posts with responsibility and failing at that too (and deservedly – I did not interview well at all).  My mental health was probably not in a good place – not ideal when you’ve got a newborn on the scene as much as anything else!  As much as anything I felt like an absolute failure and that it was humiliating to go back to a position I’d not been in since the second year of my teaching career.

Now, I’m a Head of History in a good school in North Yorkshire, and really enjoying the job again.  I now feel in a position to reflect in a more analytical way about what went wrong, what lessons I take from the experience and to hopefully share my story to help others who may find themselves in a similar situation.

What went wrong?

This is a question I’ve thought a lot about most days since handing my notice in for that job.  I identify four key problems:

The weight of responsibility

·       I was not prepared for the weight, or burden of responsibility that SLT brings.  Frankly, I was too inexperienced to live with it, especially in a school context that for various reasons was not as favourable as the one I left.  I’d just live and die with every mistake or problem that came up (and there were many).  I’d get massive ‘Sunday dread’ and work every hour going and it still didn’t feel like I was doing enough – especially as things would proceed to go wrong during the week!  I was just not really prepared to feel this way, and I think a lack of experience was problematic here.  I’d done a range of different roles in my previous schools – but was looking for something weightier.  On reflection, I should have been looking at Head of History roles (a position, crucially, I’d not done before) as I think that would have been better preparation for dealing psychologically with the challenge of leadership.  I was at that time fairly ambitious and wanted to move up the ranks, as it were – in hindsight I should have been more patient and thought much more about what I wanted to do rather than what I felt like I should have been doing.

Lack of experience

·       In addition, I hadn’t worked in enough schools of different types.  When you stay for a while in one school, especially one that’s successful, you can become institutionalised.  That makes it harder to transition to a new context, especially one that did not have a history of success.  I was joining a school graded Inadequate six years earlier (but ‘Good’ when I started), with some financial issues and a school roll that had cratered – affecting the Sixth Form numbers I now had some responsibility for.  I was not prepared for staff who fundamentally mistrusted SLT and seen a revolving door of them come and go (4 heads in 7 years).  I was not prepared to inherit a Sixth Form where previous colleagues running it had both hated each other and both resigned at once and there had been a bit of a void in the direction and leadership and where students, who’d gone through the full gamut of problems, felt a bit betrayed.  Also I hadn’t realised how hard just being new is – you’re nothing when you move school.  It’s not like football transfers where a new player carries a reputation with them.  In a new school, especially one with high staff turnover, SLT or not you’re just another new face that’s probably not going to last very long.  When you then all of a sudden can’t control the behaviour of your class because the personality and systems you’d relied on before were no longer present or didn’t work, you had a problem!

Having the courage of your convictions

·       I don’t think I really knew what I thought then, or at the very least my beliefs were tentative.  For example, I knew at that time I didn’t really feel comfortable with grading lesson observations or work scrutinies.  I wasn’t sure why I didn’t like it – it just didn’t sit right with me.  Now my employer also happened to share that view, which was good, however we were in partnership with another school Sixth Form that didn’t share that view.  We used to do joint QA work and as part of this they did grade some work of our staff, which was then fed back to some of our colleagues directly by that school.  You can imagine the emails of outrage from those colleagues and rightly so.  Why hadn’t I said something?  Why hadn’t I said – “We don’t this here?”  As the only member of our school involved in this QA exercise and as SLT I got a pasting for that one from all corners – and not undeservedly.

Alignment

·       This was a big one – I fundamentally at that time did not share the same view of where the school was and where it needed to go as did my colleagues.  That becomes impossible to sustain when you’re being asked to do things you don’t really believe in.  In particular, it seemed to me that the school felt that the issues were faced were to do with teachers and their effectiveness.  To me, the issue was that behaviour was extremely poor and that fixing this would be the route to improved outcomes.  When my Deputy Headteacher and line manager said to me that basically it doesn’t matter how good the system is, it’s about the individual teacher’s relationship in the classroom with the students, I thought we had a bit of a problem.

Ultimately, I was essentially ‘managed out’ of my position with the informal support plans that aren’t very supportive.  Resigning before anything worse could happen was, in the end, a massive relief.  I could now focus on starting again and rebuilding without trying to cling on to this job that I didn’t like and didn’t seem to be very good at.
 

In Part Two – I’ll explain how I did that!

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